As a mother, you might sometimes find yourself saying things you never thought you would say to your child. There are a couple of obviously wrong and hurtful things to say to your child like “I wish I never gave birth to you”, or “You’re the reason why am divorcing your father”. But surprisingly, there are some seemingly harmless words that could cause resentment, lower self-esteem, or even encourage other undesirable sentiments in your children. Here are some things you should never say to your children:
Are You Really Going To Eat That?
It’s good to keep your child fit and healthy and you probably only have good intentions when you ask your child such a question, but you should try to avoid any kind of talk that could trigger a negative body image. In case you are worried about your kid and what he or she eats at home, you should use actions rather than words. For instance, you could stock your kitchen with some healthy foods instead of junk foods. You could also put emphasis on performing physical activity such as going for walks after dinner.
You’ll Never Do That
Whether it is winning a contest, becoming a scientist, or becoming the next president, anytime you tell your child that he or she cannot do something, it forms a negative thought pattern in the child’s brain. In no time, the kid may internalize that he/she can’t do certain things and then obviously, as soon as the kid believes that, he’ll stop trying.
Your Sister (Or Brother) Is Far Much Better Than You
It can be so easy for a mother to compare her less intelligent child with the genius kid. Some moms actually believe that comparing their struggling child to the intelligent one is a way to motivate him. In reality, this always doesn’t go as planned. Moms often set the bar so high that the less intelligent child can’t even think of achieving what his sister or brother appears to achieve so easily. As a result, the kid will get angry, act out or even give up completely. Furthermore, by comparing your two kids, you’re encouraging resentment or even hatred among them that could last for a lifetime.
That Is Not How To Do It! Let Me Show You
As a mother, you probably have lots of responsibilities at home and you might ask your child to help you with some of these responsibilities. You could ask him or her to stir the soup or even fold the towels. Yes, you need the help but there isn’t any guarantee that the child will do the job perfectly well. Based on how much a stickler you are, it could be very difficult to simply stop yourself from jumping right in and taking on the task yourself. However, this is a mistake, because if you take back the task, your child will never learn how to do it and it’s highly likely that he or she won’t try doing anything else your ask in the future. If the kid hasn’t performed the task to your expectations, simply let it go and never say anything discouraging. Alternatively, you could step in but in a collaborative manner, not a dismissive way.
Act Your Age!
Don’t you think that if children could act their age, then they would? Generally, children don’t have a clue on how they’re supposed to act, so it’s your duty as their mother not just to tell them but also to show them how, and to be a good role model to them. Your child will learn from you and by what you have to offer to help him through life.